


Tear Shaped Love

by ficalicious325



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 16:53:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2236437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficalicious325/pseuds/ficalicious325
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So that was good for you too right?” She asks and you laugh, a full on deep bellied laugh because now you’re floating. Her hands are bunched in your button down and yours are tangled in her soft hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tear Shaped Love

She’s beautiful. It’s not the first time that you’ve thought that but as you see her standing in front of you, whole and healthy, you swear that you’ve never seen anything as beautiful as this woman. She’s Jemma Simmons, she’s beautiful and she’s smart, she’s smarter than anyone that you’ve ever known; she’s Dr. Jemma Simmons and you’re just Skye. You hug her, you hold her in her arms, tight, until Ward coughs and excuses himself and then all of a sudden your faces are merely millimetres apart and you’re whispering to her; “don’t you ever do that to me again”. She nods in agreement, brushing your unruly hair behind your ear and then you’re kissing her. You’re kissing her and you think if heaven exists then this is it. She breaks the kiss with a breathy giggle and with the sensation of her breath on your lips finally, _finally_ , after all this time, you’re home.

“So that was good for you too right?” She asks and you laugh, a full on deep bellied laugh because now you’re floating. Her hands are bunched in your button down and yours are tangled in her soft hair. The ‘girly’ part of you wants to know what conditioner she uses but you’re too high to care. She’s alive and you’ve just kissed the girl that’s been in your dreams for the past month and you couldn’t be happier. Fitz walks into the room and for a moment he just stands there stunned before he bounds up to Simmons and high-fives her enthusiastically murmuring a high pitched, “you go, sister!” Jemma’s laughing now too and you can’t stop the grin on your face.

-

Coulson probably doesn’t find out about your relationship in the best way. You’re sitting with your back against the end of your minimalistic bunk with your new girlfriend, _girlfriend_ , in-between your parted legs. Your laptop is at the end of your bed, a rom-com is playing quietly that neither of you are listening to. Your lips are drifting up and down the skin of her wonderfully pale neck and she’s tracing what you think are patterns on your leg but she’s telling you that they are the chemicals that make up what people call love. You’re too far gone to deeply pay attention to her words, her incredibly sexy scientific babble because Jemma Simmons is sat between your legs with her head resting back on your shoulder in her pyjamas, the same ones she fell asleep in, in your arms last night.

A.C. knocks on your ‘door’ and it opens before you even have a second to regroup. Jemma’s face has gone unnaturally red and your eyes have closed in embarrassment as you nuzzle into her neck, causing her cheeks to flush even deeper as she stutters out an excuse. You lift up your palm and cover her still-moving mouth and look the only man you’ve ever seen as a father-type figure in the eye and tell him; “I’m in love with her, so if you have some inter-team relations issue then you’re going to have to get over it.” Jemma has turned in your arms and she’s buried her face in your chest so that she doesn’t have to look at your superior officer as he replies, the small press of lips to the base of your neck tells you that she heard your declaration, that was a bit cheesy, even for you in your loved-up state.

Coulson studies you for what feels like an age before meeting your eyes intently and saying, “don’t hurt her, either of you.” You nod seriously and your door is shut leaving you both back in your bubble that revolves only around Jemma and Skye, Skye and Jemma and you’re falling in love with your shy scientist all over again.

-

Surprisingly enough it’s May that you warm up to the most in the team. Jemma has Fitz and you would never even think of getting in the way of this wonderful duo. And although you consider A.C. as a father-type figure he’s also the leader of your team, something that he doesn’t let you forget. Jemma is your best friend, the only one you’ve ever had, but she’s also your girlfriend and you love that. You love that you both know every detail about each other but sometimes it’s nice to be able to talk to someone who just doesn’t respond, who doesn’t read into every action, or if she does, she doesn’t mention it. Your sessions sitting with her in the cockpit as you fly over numerous countries have become to mean something to you. So of course it comes as a blow to the stomach when she tells you that it’s time to make a decision. That it’s the team or you parents. It hurts when she is so upfront with you that you go back to your bunk and you rip up the documents that you printed off earlier, you let yourself cry, ‘just this once’ you tell yourself, hoping that it will make you feel better.

When Jemma slides open the door twenty minutes later she says nothing apart from, “scootch”, which you do and you both lie together on the tiny bunk as you cry into her shirt. Her fingers run through your hair and for once in your life you’re not shushed and told that everything is going to be okay. She just holds you, understanding that this is something that you need to do. She holds you close to her body as your hands grab at her shirt and your eyes wet the fabric underneath them.

When the crying stops you look up at her with wide eyes and she kisses you gently, so gently, on the lips. “I choose you”, you tell her, “I choose you over the parents that I never had every time.” Your voice breaks, telling her that you’re not as okay as you’re tying to pretend to be. She sits up a little further and grabs one of your sweaters from a drawer above your bed and slowly unbuttons her now dirty shirt looking down at her working hands. “I don’t want you to have to choose, I don’t want you to have to ever choose.” It’s when her voice breaks that you realise that your girlfriend is more effected by this that she should be in your reasoning. “Jem…” You begin but you realise that she’s crying now. Her shirt is undone and her hands are frantically wiping at her eyes and trying to pull herself together. You hold her wrists to stop her from hurting herself and you pull her into your body. You’re not sure when this stopped being about May and started being your wonderful, beautiful girl having some sort of breakdown in your arms but you can’t stop your heart from aching as she heaves and sobs. You’re doing your best to soothe her but nothing seems to work. You realise that if this doesn’t stop soon, Jemma is on her way to a fully fledged panic attack.

“Talk to me, come on, Jem.” You pull her face out from your embrace and her hands are moving again as both of yours are preoccupied on her face. You can only watch as the one person who means the most to you falls apart. “Talk to me…” You whisper desperately. And then she’s meeting your eyes and she’s frozen. Her mouth opens and she’s speaking, it doesn’t look like she can control it but the words are just spilling out of her mouth. You realise that you should be paying attention right around her fifth sentence “…But nobody has even chosen me before. I was always the dorky one. Nobody wants a dorky one. But I love you, and I could tell you that it’s all chemicals but it’s not. The things that I feel for you… You’re my soulmate and I know that you might not feel the same way but.. Oh god, I never thought that I’d actually tell you that, that wasn’t meant to come out, and if it did it was meant to be a lot more romantic….” You’re kissing her again and you can’t tell if it’s for her sake or for yours because you’ve never seen Jemma loose control like that and seeing her that brutally honest both hurts and makes you wish that she was this comfortable with you all the time. “I love you too, super-scientist,” you tell her, “yes, you’re dorky, but I love you dorky, you’ve saved all of our lives being dorky and you’re my soulmate too, okay?”

She nods back at you and you feel the feeling of belonging wash over you as it always does when Jemma is near. You pull her into you and kiss her forehead before sliding off your bed. You pull her pyjamas out from under your pillow next to you own neatly folded ones that your love folded for you this morning. You pull off her boots and push her shirt off of her shoulders your hand reaches behind her back and snaps open her bra clasp. You kiss her breast bone as the garment falls free and you slide the soft t-shirt that used to be yours over her head and pushing each of her arms through the holes. She’s looking down at you adoringly and she is yet to speak as you slide her jeans off of her wonderful legs and slides up a way-too-short-to-be-seen-out-in-public pair of boy shorts. You find your face being cupped in two delicate, cool hands before you’re pulled up to meet her face. She places an ever so soft kiss to your lips and your positions are switched. She pulls your favourite sweater over your head, the one she gave you the last time you had leave and took off together. Your bra is also unclasped and she’s stroking down your spine as she strips off your skinny jeans. Your over-sized shield academy t-shirt that you snagged from the bottom of Jemma’s closet is slid over your torso and you’re guided backwards.

Jemma lies you down and she lies next to you. She rests her head on your chest and her wonderful hair is spread out on your chest and pillow and you can’t help but run your hands through it. You hear her telling you that she’s sorry and you shush her as quickly as you hear her start.

You realise as you fall asleep in each others arms that this night has been a night of growth for both of you as people and for your relationship.

-

You hear her swear as she stumbles across the kitchen area and you smile at her as she climbs back into her recently vacated space on your bunk the door sliding shut behind her as if it knew to keep your love a secret in the middle of this dark night with your tea sleeping around you. Seeing Simmons back at the academy, in her element had done funny things to you today. Her smugness as she’d shown off the boiler room had made your heart soar and although you think that Ward is a nice enough guy, he could do with being taken down a few pegs. Jemma holds the small box that she gathered from her own bunk and holds it out to you. “What’s this?” you ask. She looks down at her hands and fidgets uncomfortably. “Hey, Jem, what’s this?” You ask again, giving her a light poke to her naked ribs. You lift the lid to the box and peer inside. It looks to you like a small delicate necklace. It’s beautiful. It’s a long silver chain attached to a teal gemstone at the bottom that is shaped like a tear drop and wonderfully framed by intricate silver detailing.

She’s looking up at you with nervous eyes and you realise that it really matters to her whether you like this or not. “It’s beautiful, Jem.” Her body sags with relief, this means something to her, you tilt her chin up so she’s looking up at you again and her eye are sparkling in the low light of your bunk. “My grandfather gave it to my grandmother,” she tells you, “when I was eleven she died and left me with the story of how he gave it to her. It means true love, she told me to give it to the person that I found that meant the world to me. I think even at eleven she knew. I want you to have it, I-“ an excruciatingly loud alarm sounds from above you, both of you are tumbling around the small space looking for clothes. When you barge into the briefing room the rest of your team are already standing around the table. Fitz raises an eyebrow at Jemma and you hear him whisper furiously in her ear. You see her duck her head in what looks like shame and you make a mental note to ask about it later but then Colson is talking about your mission.

Next thing you know you’re all on a train in the middle of Italy and you’re kissing Fitz’s cheek. When you see Jemma getting hit by the strange night night bomb your heart hits your throat and when you see her terrified face looking over you trying to make sure that you’re not hurt, that your vest did it’s job. She’s crying and now you can’t breathe, she rips off your bulletproof vest and is searching your abdomen for anything other than bruising. Your team is standing over the two of you, making sure that you’re safe.

When you get back to the bus Jemma won’t leave your side, at all. Fitz is glaring at you and you have a strong feeling that it’s not about your close run in with death. When you sit down for your debrief Jemma sits with Fitz in between you, you’re confused and she just looks ashamed. The whole meeting you’re trying to catch her eye right up until May gives you a sharp kick in the shin. You look forward towards Coulson blankly, running over things that you could’ve done in your head.

-

You don’t talk for a week, you’re confused. You finally give up and go to her bunk when you hear her crying in the middle of the night. You slide her door open and push her further into the bed before slipping in behind her and wrapping yourself around her body. The sobs get louder and more violent and she twists in your arms so that she can wrap her own around you. Your stomach finally lies still after a whole week of awkwardly dancing around the woman you love. It would be hard to say that Fitz’s words to you whenever you came looking for Jemma hadn’t hurt but it was nothing compared to the pain of not sleeping with her in your arms, not kissing her good morning and not giggling with her during briefings.

You wake up the next morning alone. You clutch the necklace Jemma gave you in your hands and close your eyes. You roll out of the bed and go back to your own, hoping that today will be the day that you finally talk to her and sort this whole thing out. All of a sudden Fitz is in your bunk. He’s panicking, seriously panicking. You take him to Coulson to hopefully make his words make sense. They tell you Jemma has been taken. You tell them that that can’t be true, she fell asleep in your arms last night. You sit in the chair in his office and put your hands in your hair. They bring you Jemma’s phone and laptop in hopes that you can find something. What you find isn’t something that you ever wanted to see. The message tells you that Jemma has been being threatened; her or you. They tell you that it’s the clairvoyant and that if you want to get her back then you’re going to have to sacrifice more than you ever thought. The words you’ve read echo around your head, Jemma is gone, _her or you_ , the thought of loosing Jemma terrifies you. The necklace around your neck weighs heavily next to your heart.

Your team barges into the warehouse, there’s no other way to put it. From the van you see the mutant super-soldier that was Mike Peterson. You hope to anyone on the earth that Jemma hasn’t met him yet. When Fitz comes into the van it’s awkward, his eyes go straight to your necklace and you realise that this is what the past week has been all about. He asks you if you know the whole truth about the necklace and you just shrug, you’ve got more on your mind at the moment, such as the love of your life being held captive by some highly intelligent super-human. When your team finds Thomas Nash, Jemma is still nowhere to be found. Your hands are sweating and you can’t breathe. You can only watch as he manipulates Coulson and you pray that Jemma is safe, that she hasn’t been hurt. You’re told that you’re what they want, you have something that they want and that you will die giving it to them, you can only think that it would rather be you than Jemma. You scream when Ward shoots the clairvoyant, your path to Jemma has been shut. The only way to find her now is with Death-Lock and none of you can get close enough to even begin to talk to him.

As you fly back to HQ you visit Ward in the holding cell. You’re lost, so lost without Jemma by your side. You’re angry, Ward may have cost your love her life. He’s reasoning with you but you can’t listen, he’s telling you that he chooses you over Jemma and you just can’t understand, he tells you that he wants you to be safe but he doesn’t understand that without Jemma you’ll never be safe again. You visit Coulson instead, he tells you that Ward may not have killed the clairvoyant, he tells you that your line to Jemma may still be open. It makes sense, this is all too simple. You’re breaking it down, you’ve been being monitored. You realise that the clairvoyant is an agent and this scares you beyond belief. Shield agents are powerful and Jemma hasn’t even been cleared for field work yet. You sleep in her bunk, her sheets smell of her and not of the new scent that the two of you have made in your bunk, the one that’s a glorious mix of both you and Jemma. You get out of the bunk and you find Fitz. He’s panicking again, did he ever stop? You tell him to cut the line and then you’re both running.

When they tell you that Hydra has infiltrated shield you still haven’t heard from Jemma. You’re running through the hallways of the hub with Ward and you need to find her. He kisses you and you feel sick; you’re Jemma’s. Ward doesn’t know that though. Ward doesn’t understand how wonderful Jemma is, he thinks she’s too plain, too simple. He doesn’t understand that she’s your breath of fresh air. You can’t find her. You realise how naive you’ve been this whole time, how could you not notice Ward? They’re leading Hydra agents out of the building and there’s still no Jemma. Fitz is a mess. You still can’t breathe. Your badge is worthless now, it always was as long as it couldn’t find Jemma. Your team heads back to the bus to try and reassemble themselves.

Hydra is everywhere, Jemma is nowhere. It’s been two weeks and you’re starting to loose hope. Tripp is part of your team now and Coulson is getting the bus bedding areas remodelled. You and Jemma are now given a double room, Trip takes her old one. You hate it. You can’t be in here without Jemma. Your destination is kept a secret from the whole team. You just want to find Jemma. When you’re packing up her stuff and moving it to your new room you find a slip of paper. You sit on Jemma’s- now Tripp’s bed and open the slip of paper. On one side you see a list of things that Jemma was planning on ordering for the team, _hot chocolate, marshmallows, a hard drive for Skye, screws for Fitz, new goggles for May_ , are all on the list. You sigh, her handwriting is so familiar. You turn over the sheet of paper and find numbers and what looks like Russian?! You rush to Fitz, if there’s one person on the bus that you trust it’s Fitz.

The two of you find that the coordinates lead to the Canadian wilderness. The words shock you more. _Ward is HYDRA_. You love this woman. Only your Jemma would leave a note for you after a week of silence. You take the note to Coulson. The bus flied to Canada and now you’re in the snow. Your time is running out, you can feel it. As you’re walking through the snow you’re reminded about Jemma’s fear of bears and a soft smile appears on your face. When the rock face moves and you find the secret base you hope that Jemma’s there. It’s clear that she’s not. You’re falling apart without her and you don’t know what to do anymore.

-

It’s the middle of the night. You’ve been in this base for four days. You miss your girlfriend. You’ve decided you want her to be your wife. Coulson comes to your door at twelve minutes past one in the morning and hands you a phone. He tells you that they’ve found her. He tells you she’s alive. You refuse to breathe normally until you can see her. Apparently she’s been asking for you. He shuts the door and you assume he goes back to bed. You return to your own, cold one. It’s always cold without Jemma in it. You’re beginning to believe it’s giving you frostbite.

The phone rings just as you’re going to sleep. You grab it and answer it without hesitation. There’s a pause as the line fully connects and then you hear it, and it’s like angels singing. “S-Skye?” She asks carefully, oh so carefully. You’re nodding your head, you’ve forgotten that she can’t hear you. “I’m here, baby. I’m right here.” She cries. So do you. You just want her home. You just want to see her face.

She comes home to you on a Tuesday. You stand alone as the door opens and she rushes into your arms. You crash into her, you could’ve sworn she’s skinnier. You hold her and you never want to let her go. You kiss her and it’s as though you’ve never breathed real air before. It’s been thirty days and you can breathe again. You take the bag from her but she won’t let you put it down. You take her hand instead, not wanting to be too far from her. When you meet the rest of the team Jemma hides behind you. You have no idea what happened to her but you’re never letting anything hurt her again. When Fitz rushes forwards she scrambles backwards and you’ve never seen her so scared. Hurt flashes across Fitz’s face and he realises it at the same time you all do. This is not the same Jemma Simmons that left you.

Mr. Big-Shot-Level-6-Orientation takes her away from you and you can hear her screams echoing around your head. She’s in there for hours. She can’t walk when she comes out. You never left her, you watched the whole process. You couldn’t leave her. What you hear makes you throw up. Twice. You lead her back to your room and she lowers herself onto the bed so gently it’s like she thinks she’d break. When you try to shut the door she whimpers. You leave it open. You don’t talk that night, you just hold her.

You ask her to marry you on a Thursday. “I love you,” you tell her, “I never want to loose you again.” She says ‘yes’ and you’ve never been happier. Shield is practically non-existent, the love of your life has been tortured, starved and broken by Hydra. Your S.O is a part of the team that almost took her from you. Your life is a long shot from normal. You have so far to go. You couldn’t be happier.


End file.
